


The Mice Will Play

by ficface



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Awkwardness, Cheating, Coming Out, Difficult Decisions, Domestic Violence, Dysfunctional Family, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Family Drama, Fluff, Friendship, Homophobia, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Lies, Love, M/M, Neighbors, Night Terrors, Phanfiction, Rape, References to Depression, Romance, Secret Relationship, Sexuality Crisis, Sneaking Around, Social Anxiety, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 06:11:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14395986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ficface/pseuds/ficface
Summary: Dan Howell’s life had been uneventful since he moved in with his girlfriend at the tender age of 19, but it was comfortable, and he was happy with his choice.That was until their new, rather dashing, neighbour moved in next door. Dan’s life quickly became a challenge, trying to figure himself out, juggle priorities, and keep the lying to a minimum.





	The Mice Will Play

**Author's Note:**

> The characters I've created for Dan's and Phil's families and friends are not based on their real ones. They're based on people in my own life, and some aspects of myself.
> 
> Additionally, I began writing this in 2016 and it's based on events from my life. Writing about my past helps me immensely. (I recommend it!)
> 
> To reiterate the tags, this contains a lot of sexual activity, strong language, domestic abuse, homophobia, and implied childhood sexual abuse (there is NO paedophilia depicted in this), so do read with caution. (Rated 'E' for the 2nd/3rd chapters onwards.) But there are many funny, cute, happy moments too to keep the balance.
> 
> Also, thought I'd mention, while I may "ship phan" within the world of fanfiction, I don't assume their orientations or relationship to one another. I wholeheartedly respect these guys. I simply enjoy using them as characters in my sordid little stories. :)
> 
> I've put a lot of effort into this, and I’m very pleased with how it's turned out, so I hope it's enjoyed!

He wasn’t exactly what Dan had expected. But what had he expected? Two point four children, a Labrador and a couple of goldfish? At least the goldfish. As it appeared, Dan’s new next-door neighbour was mostly thick-rimmed glasses and Oriental cat.

A pair of kitties peered from inside their wicker carrier, where their owner placed them on the frosty, waist-high wall beside the porch. The frost hadn’t cleared from that morning and made the February afternoon nippier than usual, and the kitties weren’t appreciating any of it.

Their owner hovered up and down the drive, nervously fiddling with his phone between his gloved hands, until he showed two burly men in navy fleeces through the bright red front door. Dan caught the company name, _Barber and Son Removals_ , printed across their backs, and looked up to the lorry as he passed it, reading the same on its side. He didn’t recognise it as any local company, so his new neighbour must have travelled some distance.

Another man was wandering to and from the lorry; a blond in sandy-coloured chinos and an oversized, mottled cardigan. He was directing the removal duo with an evident confidence. Dan had already sussed the guy out, sensing he was a tosser, but he threw those ignorant thoughts to the back of his mind. The blond did seem a contrast to his friend who was standing there dishevelled and disorganised, trying his best to look helpful.

Dan inspected the men from the backseat of his girlfriend’s car as it eased its way up the curb with a _buh-bump_ , coming to a halt on the drive.

The Booth household had been his home for the past few years, ever since he decided living with his overbearing mother, emotionally distant father, and obnoxious younger brother was getting just a tad too much to cope with. It had been for the best. He was out of their hair, they were out of his. Perfect!

Gemma and Allan were like second parents to him. Perhaps better than his own. They’d raised a well-rounded young woman he was proud to call his girlfriend. Abigail Charlotte Booth. It was a much prettier name than she felt ever suited her, so insisted everyone called her _Abi_ instead. Even Dan got a telling off if he uttered her full name.

As Dan stepped out of the silver Fiesta, a couple of carrier bags, full of items from their weekly shop, were thrusted into his hands with the instruction they were for the chest freezer in the garage. Dan replied with a small, “Yep”, and in he walked, nodding a timid but friendly hello to the men next door when they glanced his way.

He couldn’t see any reason why he blushed when he saw the sweet smile the flustered one returned to him. Puzzled, and a little amused by his reaction, Dan became distracted and took the frozen items into the kitchen, placing them beside the microwave on the worktop instead.

Abi had been on his heels, walking in with bags of her own, and plonked them on the kitchen table. She glanced up at his stern expression, staring at a fascinating spot on the tiled floor from where he leant against the worktop, fingers tense around the edge. As she turned to put away milk and margarine, she smirked to herself. It wasn’t the first time she’d seen that face on him, given how many times she beat him while playing his favourite video games, but she couldn’t help being the best sometimes.

Facing her boyfriend, Abi stepped between his feet and tilted her head back, resting her chin on his chest. His face instantly relaxed, seeing her smile, and he wrapped her up in a cuddle.

“Hey,” she hushed, smoothing her hands around his back, “what y'thinkin’ about?”

Dan leant down to place a gentle kiss on her nose. “Nothing important,” he told her. It wasn’t a lie. It wasn’t entirely true either. He lifted her petite frame to perch on the edge of the worktop, and kissed her, now he had her at the ideal angle. His tongue slipped into her mouth, and a heavy, contented sigh left her lungs.

Unfazed by the usual bout of friskiness between the pair, Gemma strode in the room with a few bags, setting them next to the ones Abi brought in. She gave the couple an endearing roll of her eyes when she eased Abi’s head down to open a cupboard door and put a few items away up there. They were far too busy eating each other’s faces to notice anything else going on around them.

After shoving toilet rolls in the cupboard behind Abi’s legs, that Dan quickly hooked his hands behind to lift out the way, Gemma grew impatient. “Guys, you can snog later,” she tutted, and tossed a packet of scour pads into the cupboard under the sink. Dan and Abi failed to acknowledge a word that had been said, so Gemma tapped Dan’s shoulder, clearing her throat as she did.

Their faces were flush from the heat of the moment when they looked down towards the plump woman beside them. “Oh, welcome back!” Gemma quipped. Abi promptly hid her blush in Dan’s neck. “If you don’t wanna help put the shopping away, go be polite and introduce yourselves to next door. Your dad’s out there chattin’ with them. They’re lovely – go on!” Gemma bustled, shooing them into the hallway. With giggles, Dan and Abi scurried off, obediently, with their tails between their legs.

* * *

“… from there we stopped off in Vancouver to visit my sister who lives over there. Met my niece for the first time. The whole trip was amazing!”

Stumbling unannounced into someone else’s conversation was always awkward. You never know what the topic is, how far into it you’ve joined, or if there’s even anything you can add that’s worthwhile saying. But there were friendly smiles across the stone wall separating their properties, welcoming Dan and Abi to join in.

All of Dan’s previous giggles defused when he came face-to-face with his new neighbour again, and he tried to avoid eye contact as best he could because he didn’t know what to make of the tight, tingly heat across his nape, or the fluttering in his chest when their eyes had locked before. He barely noticed the colour of his hair, surprisingly, since the jet black was quite a contrast against his pale skin.

Instead, Dan took greater notice of the blond who'd been holding onto his new neighbour's hand until he and Abi walked over.

Dan gulped, eyes widening in surprise, and a little intrigue. So, they weren’t just friends, but boyfriends. Possibly more if they’d bought a house together. Initially, Dan ignored the hand that was being held out towards him in a friendly manner. That very hand had been holding another man’s, and now he was obligated to touch it.

Of course, Dan would admit he was many awful things, but if there was one thing he was positive that he wasn’t, it was homophobic. He couldn’t be. He liked gay people. Okay, he didn’t know any personally, but he still wasn’t homophobic. He believed in _love is love_ and all that, he supported the whole community, he’d even been to a Pride march. Well, he’d walked through the high street where a march was happening, but he was perfectly comfortable the whole time.

So, why was he suddenly nervous of shaking a gay man’s hand? It was just a hand. It looked clean and the nails were manicured neatly. What was his problem?

“You must be Dan,” the blond uttered, his voice just a blur in Dan’s mind.

At his side, Abi jabbed him in the rib. “Babe, you’re being weird. Stop it,” she whispered, discretely, and bound up to their black-haired neighbour. “Hello! I’m Abi,” she beamed, giving a little wave. She didn’t expect two gangly arms to stretch towards her.

“Lovely to meet you. I’m Phil,” he replied.

Abi let herself be gathered close to Phil’s chest. “Ooh, hugs!”

“Yeah, I’m a hugger," Phil chuckled. "Hugs are the best.”

Meanwhile, Dan was pretty settled, awkwardly staring at the chunky, tanned fingers wriggling in his view. He couldn’t say how long he’d been staring for, but he soon snapped out of his thoughts, realising how inappropriate he was being. Dan wiped a shaky, sweaty palm on his coat before resting it beside the blond’s and trailing his eyes upwards.

“Ye-yeah. I’m Dan. I’m Abi’s boyfriend. She’s my girlfriend. We have sex. It’s amazing. I lo- I love it…”

The words had left his mouth and there was nothing he could do to bring them back. His entire body began to tremble with embarrassment. He felt like such a twat and was seriously contemplating death. Death would’ve been great. Death sounded fantastic in that moment, and he immediately begged for God to end his life right there and then. The more he begged, the more he noticed himself muttering nonsense under his breath, and felt the tension in the blond’s hand slack, easing out of his.

There was a swift presence at his side again, and Abi tugged his collar to coax him to look at her. She could tell from the state he’d got himself into, verging on a panic attack, that he didn’t need things made worse by her berating him in-front of everyone. Taking a deep breath, she gave him a soft smile, willing her annoyance to calm, then looked at the blond who hadn’t even introduced himself yet.

Abi carefully chose her words to inform the new neighbours, "He's got social anxiety disorder. He often gets tongue-tied around strangers, says stuff he doesn't mean. He'll be all right once he gets to know you," she looked up at her boyfriend and gently hugged him.

Dan winced as he looked back to the others but nodded all the same. He knew, in time, things would get easier.

Thinking he'd got the gist of it, the blond softly chuckled, sympathetically, but tried less than tactically to make the boy feel better. “It’s very nice to meet you, Dan. I’m Darren, and, uh…” he looked to his left for a moment, winking at his man standing there. “We have amazing sex too.”

Phil's chin dropped slightly, his mouth hanging open, while Allan kept his mouth firmly shut when Gemma happened to pop out to the porch at that exact moment to announce she was going to start preparing lunch.

“Inside in ten minutes, or I’m eating yours,” she called, disappearing from the doorway.

Beneath the awkward silence, a titter dispersed among them, and they quickly returned to chatting as though nothing had happened, much to everyone's delight.

Allan and Darren began discussing several topics, from the best cars they’d ever owned to their travel plans for the rest of the year. They found they differed in opinion over the gym. While Allan was a keen snooker player at the local pub on a Friday night, he wasn’t into his sports and exercise like Darren was, who owned quite a physique that he admitted he’d happily display if it wasn’t so cold. Allan gave him an uneasy smile, thankful of the wintery weather. He really didn’t need a show.

A few feet away, Phil shifted around Darren and stepped closer to Dan and Abi, who were quietly talking to one another. He guessed she was trying to calm her boyfriend down, seeing as the anguish in the boy’s face was still present. Phil wanted to be of some use, so offered a reassuring smile as Dan’s startled eyes looked at him. “Finally getting to meet you,” said Phil, and held his arms out for a hug. “Come on. I’ve got loads spare.”

Dan glanced at Abi, and she all but thrusted him into Phil’s arms, telling him again to stop being so weird. Hesitant as he was to move at all, having been forced to in the end, Dan stumbled, only just managing to steady himself against the brick wall so he didn’t fall into the other man.

He wasn’t ready for a hug. He could barely shake the other one's hand, and there was no way he was opening his mouth again to utter another word. God knows what he’d come out with if he did. All he could do was stare straight into a pair of big, blue eyes.

While Abi was a bit impatient with him at times and encouraged him into situations that were out of his depth, she did understand how difficult his problems were. He could be friendly at a distance with anyone, but any closer and it was tricky for him to keep his nerve. It was why he only worked part-time at the local B&Q store; he dealt with fewer customers, but still felt an asset to the company. Whenever he’d holiday with family or socialise with friends, he'd always isolate himself if things got too rowdy. Abi was glad, however, to see him start to smile over something Phil had said, and she was relieved when he gave in to the second offer of a hug.

No-one would remember his silly admission by tomorrow, but it would be one of those things that would haunt him for a long while, replaying in his mind to make him feel like an idiot when he least expected it.

Dan basked in the warmth Phil wrapped him in, those two seconds feeling like hours, and he would've spent them all resting against Phil’s body if they weren’t strangers, making the whole event suddenly seem very weird if he didn’t pull away when he did.

It was his chance to gain back some lost dignity and confidence when he spotted a cardboard box on the drive with ‘ _VIDEO GAMES_ ’ scrawled across the sides. Bingo! Exhilaration ignited within him. From the looks of him, Phil was most definitely the owner of that box. He could talk about games until he was blue in the face. This would be a breeze.

“You- um-” Dan’s mouth was dry, and he paused to flick his tongue around it. “You like gaming?”

Phil took a glance to his left, tapping the box beside him with his shoe. “Yeah. I’m a total nerd,” he chuckled, and began unzipping his coat to lift the hem on his jumper and reveal a _Sonic the Hedgehog_ t-shirt underneath.

It was too good to be true. Handsome, and a gamer. Dan blanked out his conscience asking him what he meant by that, instead quickly pulled his phone from his pocket and woke it up. “Same,” he said with a beaming smile, and showed off his, equally nerdy, lock screen image of a _Pokémon_. He was slowly getting the hang of this chatting-to-a-stranger malarkey, but he dreaded putting his foot in it again, so he kept his words concise. “How d’you feel about anime?” Dan asked, a hint of hope in his tone. Honestly, he didn’t mind if Phil didn’t like that. At least they had a love of games in common, and clearly there were enough in the big, brown box to get through during gaming nights he'd already planned in his mind.

Perhaps he was getting ahead of himself, but they were bonding, and Dan really wanted to make a good impression. Luck was on his side when Phil began gushing over his favourites, the ones he’d recently watched, and what he was excited for.

Dan’s confidence boosted upon hearing show titles he recognised, some he didn’t but was eager to learn more about, and a few he was completely in love with. Their conversation flowed a little easier the more Dan’s nerves subsided, the more familiar topics were discussed, giving the real Dan inside every reason to shine, bit by bit.

Of course, his anxieties weren't in complete control of his life, and he took medication to ease them. When they were manageable, and he was in a comfortable state of mind, his charming wit could come out to play. It gave him a good reputation at work, and his sarcastic, silly humour was enjoyed by his colleagues, because you can never have too many dick jokes down the power tools aisle.

So, the nerdy puns Dan told to make Phil laugh were being appreciated. After a while, chatting to Phil was like catching up with an old friend, making him feel foolish for his earlier panicking. But Phil was rather easy on the eye, giving him another reason to feel shy and awkward.

He did his best to ignore that fact. Dan’s instant fascination with the man didn’t need to be questioned. That’s what he told himself. Those kinds of thoughts left him confused and depressed when he couldn’t figure it all out. It was something he’d probably have to face shortly, but it could wait. The most important thing in that moment was making a new friend who was passionate about his interests, who was an absolute dream to talk to, and who completely got his slightly stupid, slightly offensive sense of humour.

“What kind of animals do you like?” Dan suddenly blurted when Phil stopped talking about his favourite _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ episodes, and why. Dan had never seen the show, so he could only imagine what Phil was explaining. The rest of his mind was too busy watching Phil’s lips curve into shapes as he spoke. It was quite hypnotising.

His question wasn’t as bad as him declaring his love of shagging his girlfriend, but he still mentally kicked himself for it. It was why he should’ve kept his big mouth shut from the start. Phil didn’t seem to be too put off, although he did give Dan a gentle smile like a toddler was standing there instead of a 24-year-old man.

“Oh, um. I like all animals, I guess, but dogs are probably my favourite. And lions,” Phil nodded, then held his hands up, playfully clawing the air between them. “Rawr!”

Dan blinked, unsure what to make of that little screech.

“Forget I did that.” Phil lowered his gaze to hide the hint of pink that began to mar his pretty, porcelain complexion. “I’m a weird one,” he softly giggled.

Now he knew it was safe to, Dan beamed. “No, no, it was cu- uh- it was funny,” he stumbled. “Anyway, weird is good. Who’d wanna be normal? Eurgh.” Dan stuck two digits over his tongue and retched, comically.

Phil had to agree with that. “What about you, Dan? What do you like?”

When asked that question, he’d completely forgotten the subject they were talking about, and his mind went wandering into that other territory again, taking the words to mean something else.

What did Dan like?

He liked Phil’s soft eyes, despite how paralysing their gaze was. He liked Phil’s cheeky smile when he giggled at one of his own silly puns. He liked Phil’s beauty spots on either side of his face, making him look quite distinguished. He liked Phil’s accent, and the tone of his voice almost sent shivers through Dan’s body. He liked Phil’s dainty hand movements as he splayed his fingers when he spoke excitedly. He liked Phil’s slight stubble, and he imagined what it would feel like to gently run his nails through it. He liked being pressed against Phil’s chest, enclosed in his arms. He liked…

“Dogs, mostly,” Dan replied, eventually pulling himself from his fantasies.

And cue many minutes of two grown men jabbering on about cute dogs.

On the other side of the drive, Abi was being lifted into the air across the wall. The new neighbours had been so engrossed in their conversation about Corgis and Griffons that they hadn’t seen Darren introducing Abi to the cats, before paying the removal men a tip, and sending them on their way.

“Dad won’t let me have a pet while me and Dan are still living here,” Abi pouted, looking up at the balding man next to her, and grabbing Dan’s and Phil’s attention.

Allan smirked at her. “Because you killed the fish you had, trying to cuddle it all the time.” That made the other guys chuckle and Abi frown, all the while trying to keep her smile at bay.

“I was five! And Freddy was an old fart anyway.”

“You’re more than welcome to cat-sit for us any time,” suggested Darren, and glanced at Phil with a warm smile, holding his hand out for the man to hold. “In-fact, we’re gonna need someone to look after them at the end of the year, as we’ve got a very special event happening.”

By that point, Phil was nestled in Darren’s embrace, leaning against the slightly shorter man, and he smiled as he watched Darren’s left hand stretch out, fingers wriggling towards their neighbours. A subtle twinkling caught their eyes.

Abi almost popped, squealing with joy and clapping her hands. “Oh my God, you’re getting married! Congrats!” She then jumped at them both, smothering them in a great big hug.

“That’s amazing, guys. I’m happy for you,” Allan smiled, tapping affectionately on Phil’s shoulder.

Standing there, feeling awkward yet again, Dan didn’t know what to say. He would’ve congratulated them, but the words were obstructed by his clenched teeth, so instead his cheeks pulled his lips into a tight grin, hoping none of them would notice how insincere it was. He did feel happy for them, of course; he wasn’t about to pooh-pooh their engagement. Although, when Phil glanced over to him, Dan was fairly sure he saw a sliver of regret. And Dan was almost positively sure that that was wishful thinking. What was he even wishing for?

He decided that ignoring his overactive imagination and giving them his congratulations was the most sensible option, because sulking off to hide in his room for the rest of the day was childish.

Dan listened to Phil’s brief story of how he’d proposed, with Darren’s favourite flowers and lit candles on the kitchen worktop, his favourite love songs playing in the lounge, and a meal that he’d prepared from scratch. Before dessert, he’d got down on one knee. All traditional, all romantic, all turning Dan into a mess of confusing envy.

The rest, Dan blocked out, looking away from the loved-up couple. Phil’s voice became a murmur, Dan’s mind was a blur, so he focused on the cats sleeping in their carrier, thinking how adorable they looked curled around each other – one black, and the other a shade of brown. He hadn’t caught their names yet, but he figured he’d find out soon enough. Speaking of names, he was torn from his thoughts when he heard his being called to him.

“What?”

They’d been trying to get his attention for a few seconds, and chuckled as he stared blankly at them.

Allan said goodbye to next door and wandered inside, while Darren and Phil were being cosy together, slowly walking towards one of their cars on the drive and retrieving more boxes. Abi stepped close to him, tugged at his hand and beckoned him into a quick kiss, which he reluctantly gave, sensing he was on show for the neighbours to see.

It truly was awful that gay couples often found themselves in the firing line of hate if they so much as smiled at one another, so Dan felt a bit guilty that he could openly kiss his girlfriend in public and receive no grief for it. He understood that Darren and Phil had to be more careful in certain places, and insisted he’d be supportive of them by not indulging in too much of the lovey-dovey stuff in-front of them with Abi.

Although, a tiny nagging voice in the back of his head told him he was a liar, and it was only because he didn’t want to see Darren and Phil kissing. Ever. But his nagging little voice could fuck right off as far as Dan was concerned.

“Guys, lunch is ready. Hurry up or your sandwiches will get cold,” Allan called out the front door, chuckling at his own stupid joke.

Dan told Abi he’d meet her inside, that he had something he wanted to ask Phil. Abi left a peck on his cheek and headed in. When Dan turned to face his new neighbours, he was confronted by an uncomfortable sight. Perhaps his nagging little voice was right all along.

They were, apparently, busy with each other in the porch. Darren was softly speaking to Phil, occasionally pecking his lips, and Dan didn’t know where to look. Feeling hot under the collar, he rejected his idea of inviting Phil over that weekend to play video games, deciding to ask him another time.

But he was beaten to it as he turned on his heels.

“D’you wanna come round on Friday?" Phil asked, catching Dan's full attention. "Darren’s planning an evening at the local gym after work, and I’ve no plans, so maybe you and I could…” Phil’s words started to falter. He struggled to find the right ones while his hands tried to convey it all for him.

“Order a pizza… play video games?” Dan helped.

Phil gave the brunet a quick nod, then looked him up and down, as though he didn’t want to jump to any conclusions. “And I guess I could buy some beers, if you want?”

Dan didn’t like beer, but he’d be silly not to completely agree with everything Phil was offering him. Which sounded sillier than not telling the truth. What’s a white lie between strangers who are slowing forming a bond?

“Sounds great! About eight?” Dan inadvertently rhymed, which neither acknowledged.

“Perfect. It’s a date!” Phil announced, continuing the rhyming theme they had going on. But, again, that wasn’t acknowledged when he’d just suggested what he had. “I mean, uh… like a mate date?” Now it was his turn to feel foolish, and he flailed, backtracking to correct himself. “I’ll see you Friday at eight,” he managed, before he threw in a mock-threat, “and you better be ready to lose, Danny boy.”

“Your fighting-talk needs some work,” Dan snickered, before grasping the palm jolting out towards him.

Hands were shaken, and heads gave affirmative nods. The pair of them chuckled, saying their goodbyes for now, and went their separate ways.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to anyone who's read and enjoyed this first chapter. :) This story is quite long in its draft stage on Word, and I don't know how many chapters there will be. More to follow at some point, as well as other stories I'd like to upload.


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